https://www.instagram.com/p/vaCuBQMBEX/?taken-by=prealthea
Honestly, can you believe that this is my 100th post on this blog? I only created this at the start of the year to mark my new life. And reading back I really did crazy stuff that I swear I won’t have the courage to do back then.
This week my whole school life is just studying and BDD. Studying is hard, and BDD i swear, is even harder. Because everytime I see the low amount of human traffic (if that is what people call it) I feel guilty. I know that an event that does not work out is usually the fault of publicity.
I’m really grateful for those who cheered me up when I was at my breaking point. Yup, I may have seem cheerful throughout but everytime I realise that we won’t hit the target, I just feel that everything is my fault… Because I volunteered to do publicity thinking it will be easy but no, I messed up big time. Blaming everything to HBL will be very irresponsible, and I feel that if publicity is good HBL won’t affect much. I guess I’m not competent in this area. I will improve, but there won’t be another chance to. Just for this BDD I have no idea how many time I broke down, but when I reflect I saw so many things I could have improved on and wish that I could just thought of it while planning the publicity work.
And because of my guilt I went to the drive every single day. My initial plan was just to take a look on Tuesday and go on Wednesday and Friday. But I went everyday because I feel super guilty for screwing up. And if the bosses have blamed me I would have felt better. Because I’m guessing that they probably got scolded or blamed for not reaching target.
To help hit target I got my friends to donate blood too, and that was hilarious because I went with 5 other friends from my class and we all got rejected from donating blood. Like, 2 can’t find vein, 2 failed medical screening and me and pearlyn failed haemoglobin level. SO embarrassing because we went as a big group and I thought YAY 6 bags of blood but they can’t even get a bag from us. Belle and Jiaqi managed to donate though, so lucky and I’m envious. First time experiencing finger prick too, and it wasn’t pain ahhahahahaxD I was so disappointed not being able to donate because first, they had difficulty finding my vein and after locating one after much trouble, they said I will have bruise if I donate. I’m okay with it, is just bruise anyway. Then my weight, I scrape through exactly at 45kg. BUT I FAILED HAEMOGLOBIN LEVEL ARGHHHHH…
I won’t talk too much on BDD this time because a bit disappointed in myself, like why did I screw this up sia… 🙁
Oh, I went for DBSSC interview and I’m not having any expectation because I screwed the interview. It’s okay because I didn’t want it a lot anyway, and it is my first interview for a post i guess? So yah… it is okay if I fail this ^^ I won’t give up though, I have other CCA to try anyway
Bracing myself for next thurs debrief. I really hope bosses scold me to lessen my guilt…
2am new song Over the Destiny, did you go and listen? They are stopping promotion this week and I’m upset because JYPE is shit. But on the bright side, ORAS is releasing next week! Let’s get ready. And I’m choosing my achamo (torchic) as starter. I know people saying Mudkip better but no. MY ACHAMO! ^^
