It is the 7th week so I shall express gratitude to 1 friend.
I know I skipped many weeks but too lazy to write those so skip skip😊
Well, I shall express gratitude to this 1 friend which I won’t name, but if she ever see this she will probably know it is for her.
Sadly, we no longer are in contact and this is probably all my fault.
I met this friend through CCA in secondary school, and became close friend pretty quickly because we have very common interest (soft toys, computer gaming, LAN-ing, ponning CCA, common hatred for footdrills… KFC!) and somehow we were always grouped together in the first few months of CCA.
So we got close and start to skip CCA together and hang out often. Eating at KFC at Compass Point is pretty normal for us. We both hate footdrills and always act sick to avoid. She loves 3D computer games while I get motion sickness if I play. I was the one who introduce her to LAN and buying game cash.
We will sometime eat cup noodles after CCA at void deck and sometime will saw teachers walking past too. We talk about common teachers (since we were never in the same class).
I can say that she was one of the two reasons why I didn’t quit red cross even when I got sick of it.
She was also a pillar of support when I was at my worst moments of life. When I was all depressed, rejected by the society, she was with me throughout. We had lots of fun and memories in my first two years of Secondary school. School was hellish but she made it better. Honestly, without her in my life I probably really will die, even with 2am.
But we drifted apart in Secondary 3 because I chase after acceptance. Acceptance came with painful price and I never really gotten full acceptance by schoolmates probably because of my pasts.
I became friends with people who have a “normal circle of friends” and started to hang out less with her, because I dreamt of a life where I won’t be marginalised by people. I don’t like my depressed life and wanted to be somebody. In this process, I lost her as a close friend.
It was when I was in Secondary 4, I realised I have no close friends in school anymore, which makes me upset and feels like a failure. I realised I have nobody to talk my honest thoughts, nobody to LAN with, nobody to act like a child with anymore. I was expected to be the mature, brainy student which was just a fake appearance of who I am. I can no longer talk about childish things that I like and have nobody who will really laugh with me. All conversations are just gossips and studies. I grew tired of life ever since and in Secondary 4, I still have friends, but I lost my source of happiness. I wasn’t really happy and all I did was to focus on the future. Focus on graduation and focus on happy thoughts.
She was a special friend. She remembers my birthday and celebrate it for me at KFC when we were in Secondary 2. I don’t even remember celebrating with friends for the rest of my secondary school days. Maybe I’ll receive text and some useless presents but still, the sincerity isn’t there.
We spent quite a lot of time together and shared so many memories. The last news I heard about her was that she did get into a Poly.
I would thank her for who I am now. After graduation, I turned back to who I really was. I do all the childish stuff I want and whines when I like. I still play with my soft toys and games like nobody business. Studying is still not my cup of tea. But life is still different without her. I have nobody to talk games to because all my friends now don’t game. I have nobody to play soft toys with because people around me are mature. I have nobody to go LAN with anymore. In fact, I haven’t step into one since I entered Poly.
I appreciate how she accepted my dream although she jokes about it all the time. At least she knows.
I don’t know if she remembers all these but she is a very very special friend and I really want to thank her for everything she had done for me. For course there are many more things which I cannot finish mentioning. She accompanied me to doctor when I was feeling very unwell (even my classmates ignore it back then). All those things she have done, I remember and I appreciate.
I hope for her to be successful and hopefully in years to come, we will meet again, although unlikely because our diploma is for different industry.
