18 March 2015,
To help and inspire others while having fun! -My new life motto
Had my first ever camp experience as a camp facilitator. Although didn’t really say it before but I do want to experience being a camp facilitator at least once before I grow up and thanks to this opportunity I can tick this off my bucket list.
Honestly, I wasn’t very excited before the camp. Packed last minute and really worried about not being able to mingle with the kids. Actually, should call them teens but I am used to calling them my kiddos.
Went to report for camp with a neutral feeling. I was not expecting anything. I just wish to fulfil my duties, make sure the kids are safe and happy and probably leave camp feeling neutral and not have any attachments towards the kids. But I was wrong.
When the kids left camp today I had a sense of loss. As though some part of me were taken away. Some kids did not left right away, I can sense they didn’t really want to leave. It is sad that after knowing so much of their stories and life, I could not stay there to help them or guide them. I can see that they are really kids with potentials and talents, just waiting for people to discover them. Some of them are fooled by fate, or maybe the dreaded MOE system. They are all people that are kind at heart. They are not what the media portray them to be. I wish many others can see that.
This is definitely a bitter sweet experience. Of course there are times I get frustrated that nothing is going well and really wish to just drop everything and run, but when they are sweet and nice I really wish to go over to them and hug them.
Their energy level is really high and I like that very much. It is very rare to see 13 years old running around having fun. My idea of a 13 years old is kids that sit down and play with gadgets. Of course, those kids love their gadgets too; they asked me for their phone for 3 days straight. But they do forget about it when they have fun. They are really energetic, running around from morning all the way till 11pm plus, their bedtime. This cause me a lot of trouble though. It is really difficult to gather them and they ignore most of my shoutings. However, in the case of a rare event when they do listen I felt really really happy. I witness a scene when they are as a class, about 27 of them, and super rowdy in the afternoon. Suddenly their form teacher arrived and shouted. Suddenly, all of them froze and sat down right away. I was amazed by the power of the teacher at that time because it was the first day and I really have no experience gathering them. You may think that the teacher is those fierce, unkind type but no. The kids adore the teacher a lot. When the teacher is around during their meal time they always go hover around the teacher and joke with him. I am really jealous of the teacher.
My biggest crisis of the camp was when the group morale got low and refused participation in activities. I was really flustered during Day 2 because they are suddenly very low in mood and have no interest in participating in anything. I then found out that one of the members are worried for their performance at night. I can see that this is because he does care about the performance and is a dedicated child. I can feel that he really care about it very much and does not want it to end up badly. I had a hard time cheering him up and getting him back into the group. However, it seem like the whole group is quite affected by it. My co-facil had to talk to a member while I tried to get the rest interested in the activity, but apparently failed. So I gave up and played scissors-paper-stone and chopstick with them instead. This made their mood better and they are also less worried about the performance because I discussed a plan with them so they are convinced that it is possible for them to succeed. Also told them of the possibility of them playing water games later and they got excited because they can pour water on me LOL. Anyway, this is enough to get them back into doing the last activity of the segment, after not doing the first two. The group is more cooperative after the whole thing and I finally can rest a bit after that. I could see my co-facil was really tired hahahaha. So I let him rest and take care of the group during afternoon activity, since I’m younger and have more energy. They really amazed me by showing me they learn things fast, and not only that the better ones offered to teach the weaker ones, without me interference. I really love them at that moment. I never seen such teamwork and helpfulness in my secondary school before. In secondary school, all I remember was that our goal is to win each other. For them, they want each other to do well. I am really really impressed by them. I was jealous of them for a while, their pure friendships and bromance.
I was really touched when my group kids pass me potatochips. I knew they brought chips to camp so they can eat during sleep time. But they gave it to me as a gift. I am sorry to doubt you all at first because I can’t trust boys that easily. You all made me trust boys a little bit more. When you guys bring the chip to my ‘dorm’ I was really shock but still grateful. I don’t think any other facils received anything from their kids so I felt really really honored. I heard you all asked around where my ‘dorm’ is so you guys can pass it to me. And after that you guys made me promise to go and watch your rehearsal. I was really proud of you guys. In just 2 days, you guys changed so much. From not wanting to rehearse at all, and making me chase after you all for nearly an hour just for a group photo, to one that will go and participate in rehearsal volunteeringly. Of course, when I watch how well you guys done, I was really proud and happy. When you all were on stage, did you see how happy and proud I was? I literally ran to the front so I can watch it better. I felt like some proud mama. And to be honest, I felt that my group’s kids did the best, compared to the rest of the other groups. They received the loudest applauses and cheers. And when they did the gwiyomi, it was super cute. Everyone in the hall was entertained. I was really happy I nearly teared.
The last official group activity we had together was really personal and I can only say that thank you guys. I shared a little of my sad story, of my black past, and I am glad you guys opened up to me. Saying things out can make you guys feel better and sometimes, I know all you all want is someone to listen. And I did listen, to every one of you. I am happy that by sharing my terrible past, you all gained courage to share whatever you all have with me. I will keep all the secrets with me, and I promise not to share. Your unique stories, even if nobody in the world wants to listen, I will and I will remember.
All the student leaders and facils helped me a lot. When I say a lot I really mean it. This is my first time doing such work and it was difficult, but manageable because of their helps. They are also kind souls that have matured. I know I probably won’t meet most of them after this, but to those I may meet again, I hope that we can work well together.
So yes, I made up my mind. I am going to be their volunteer to continue inspiring people. I know many of the kids really look up to me and trusted me. But I do not want to just help those 7 kids. I do not want my help to end after the camp. I want to inspire even more, even if I sound greedy here. I want to help them to ensure they do well in life, and I do believe in them. I am going to enquire if there is any long term volunteer work that I can do for them. Hopefully, a year long one so I can also start on my NYAA service portion. I decided not to do in hospital anymore, since I doubt they want to accept me anyway.
I am really thinking of changing my life goal to be a social worker instead.
I cannot post any group-related picture so…
I will keep the flag well. Meant a lot to me. If I ever go back to the school, I will bring it back for you guys.
I am glad that most of you told me you really enjoyed the camp and the best decision you made was to attend the camp. I am really touched by those words. It just meant that all my hardwork paid off, and staying awake till 3am to write you all letters are worth it.
I promise to return next year, as long as I am given the chance to, and if I do not have internship. Even if I have, I will try my very best to get off work so I can attend. Hopefully next year, I can meet most of you, not as camper but as a student leader.
https://www.instagram.com/p/0W3J29MBOu/?taken-by=prealthea
