Sometimes I think about the time I got the notification that I failed DPA for SP Biomed, and I cried for a few minutes and went straight back to revising for O’s.
And the time I broke up and set a timer to force all my emotions out because I swore not to cry again once the alarm rang. I did not shed another tear.
I miss how strong I used to be.
I hate how emotional I became as I grew older. I was a logical and heartless girl. What happened to me? Why did I become so soft?
I don’t like this. I hate being so weak. Why did I let myself become so soft? I must toughen up. It’s my fault for getting myself heartbroken. It’s my fault for catching feelings. Wasn’t it nice to be that girl that dates people for fun? What the hell happened to you QW? Wake the fuck up.
Don’t sway. Don’t be tempted. Don’t look don’t see and you’ll eventually forget about him. It’s not going to be easy but you must do it. Don’t entertain him when he message you (while he is bored probably).
I have no fucking idea why you were momentarily happy to see him in your notification last week. Does it feels good to wait for a reply that doesn’t arrive? If it doesn’t then why the hell are you doing it? Stop it idiot.
He’s cute but he’s not the only cute guy around. 😒 Get your shit together and go back dating other guys. You’ve put your life on hold long enough for a chance you never got. Fuck feelings, I want benefits.
I’m weak. I want to fight once more, is it because I really like him or I just hate losing? But I have zero courage left. I can’t even open his insta stories because I don’t dare to see it. I’m not ready for my world to shatter again. Maybe this is a sign I should give up for real.
